i'm

Like usual, I'm not going to waste time thinking about what to write about. I'm just going to write. So who knows what could happen next. Although I kind of feel like ranting on my dyslexia which I've been having issues with lately. Ironically, this post will probably be perfectly written and error-free. At least in a perfect world. And let's face it, that basically happened when I was born. You can thank my parents.

So here it goes. Never mind. I changed my mind. I'M ALLOWED TO DO THAT ON THE INTERNET WOOT. Freedom. Eww, why am I CAPS LOCKING so much? Yep, it's a verb. I'm a verb. Huh? Wookies.

That's something I do a lot. No, not wookies, weirdo. But say "I'm...." to whatever someone just said. Examples below.

Friend: Isn't it a nice day outside?
Me: I'm a nice day outside.
Friend: No but for real the sun is shining everywhere.
Me: I'm shining everywhere.
Friend: UGH whatever. You're annoying.
Me: I'm annoying.
Friend: I know.. I just said that.
Me: HAH. JOKE'S ON YOU.

Obviously not a true story because everyone knows I don't have friends. *sobs and plays Words with Friends oh wait I CAN'T*
So anyway.. the whole "I'm..." is my go-to joke.
I'm the new "your mom"! But I'm not your mom. But yo mama's your mom! Why do they let me out of the house.... Why.

I would just like everyone to know that my hamper is literally the centerpiece of my bedroom right now and I have a plate of water on my bed.

saving

I'm not allowed to blog next week, so I'm doing it now. Knowing that I'm gonna lose something for a while makes me want to make use of it now, even though I've had plenty of time to do that. So hello, I hope your day is going well. I now know who some of my readers are, and I like them. You should talk more (; I feel like making a decision right now, so I'm thinking of one to make. Right now. Ummmmm. I am going to..................................................................................................................... Man, I really can't think of anything. What should I do?!!!! Maybe I'm making a decision that I will make a decision. But when? Where? Why? Shut up I hate those questions. No for real I kind of do. I don't want to be a journalist ): THE TRUTH COMES OUT. I don't know what I want and I'm at peace with that. Okay, back to making a decision. How about I am going to make something out of paper machete (i hope i spelled that right) in the next year or so. Who wants to help? What should we make???? I'm feeling artsy. I like pop tarts. What do you guys think about my fashion choices? Like for real. And which stereotype am I? EHHHH? I know a space traveler. Yeah, be jealous. You exist. I exist. I know someone that exists. Which makes me so super cool (: I prefer really big fur coats with my moccasins. Father knows best. No for real, he was right today. I was humbled, kind of. It bothers me when someone mentions a mistake and doesn't point it out. I found a typo in the hymnal today. It said thrist.

Anybody wanna hear a story?

infooooooooo

My name is Clay Egan.
The animal which symbolizes me is German shepard.
The color of my soul is Olive green.
The celebrity I most resemble is tuna.
My special pain or illness is chocolate.
My most important time of day is 4:oo am.
The shape of my life is triangle.
And the flavor which identifies me most is tulips.

Use this information wisely. 

silver

 I can show you the world. What world? Nooooo, ya can't. Sorry to burst your bubble. Bubble buddy. But the thing is the world has all it's shadows and corners and I don't get to see them. You don't even get to see them. I'm sure there's even places that no one gets to see. I would like to see those places. I'd rather walk down a beautiful hidden alley than to ever glance at the Eiffel Tower, because truth is I've already seen the Eiffel Tower thanks to the billions of tourists throwing their touristy Tower pictures at me. Yeah yeah a picture isn't the same, but I want to walk down that alley. Every story has a setting, and every setting has a story. Pretty sure this alley will have a better story behind it. If not, I'll make one. And then it can be my story and I'll write it however I want, ya dig? Good. What's your place? Where you wanna go? I have more places to go. Alley, check. Hmm, what else do I want to see. An abandoned bus, a broken ship, a crashed airplane, and your heart. Can I be there? In your heart. Maybe not. I want to be in empty places, and leave them with my memory. Just me. A little drop of a legacy just to throw off the groove of "emptiness". Maybe that's why you're a little scared, but that's okay. I can always wait to give your heart a little hug. Tug it my way. But don't worry, I'll stick around. Find me in the alley, I'm the one holding tears.

family chat

People always ask me why I write my blog the way I do. Mostly nonsense to those who don't understand it, and let's face it that's probably all of you. No offense. And yes my blog is for you to read, but it's also just to keep myself going sometimes. I'm a fan of self-expression and social media doesn't always do the job. Anyway, most blogs are full of opinionated rants on "issues" or "change the world" fantasies. Wee bit narcissist I'd think. The way to success is following your dreams, not throwing them at people who take a few minutes to read your meaningless rants. Blogging is such a hipster world, everyone else is saying the exact same thing. In fact, you probably got your ideas from someone else anyway, show some credit. Yes, I know the irony of me ranting on ranters but if you wanna win you gotta play the same game. So back to THIS blog that you're reading, I write it for fun. If I want you to think about something I'll bring it up in a fun way. People learn the most when they figure things out themselves with guidance, not from lists of do's and don'ts. I'd like to think of myself as more of a Dear Abby rather than a politician. Come to me with a problem and I'll give you a hug and kind words, not shove a law down your throat because it's the "way it should be". I don't know what's best for you, and neither do the ranters. Indirect expression is my specialty. If you feel guilty about something it's probably because you did something wrong, not because I told you so. So take my thoughts for what you want them to be. If you think I'm talking about you, fix what you think I'm talking about. Otherwise just enjoy it. My blog is not to point things out, but more so to "take a look" at your own experiences. My thoughts are small and not worth much- Chocolate is Brown.

my computer gon' die

Look it. Let me write what I wanna. Don't care what your parents say, forget structure. Judging me already, are you? Fine. But I got this, my own. Shout for independence. Do something different. But is it really different? Or is everyone else just too common to do it. Not me. Uh oh, incorrect grammar. Rules rules rules. Great people break rules. I'm not the first to say it, and I won't be the last. But I am one to say it. What's my message? No, don't break the law. But there's no reason to go one way when there's another way to go. Just go, and figure it out on your own, on your way there. I can tell how your mind is just tearing this apart. Sentence by sentence the more you read the more out of the way it gets. Don't try to follow, Just pass by please. Thank you kindly. Refuse arguments without worth. After the answering machine fills up, take a look and see what's there, not wasting a second. Skip the pettiness, and dwell on what will last. You can decide that. Your choice. But alas, respect choices. Please don't stir up trouble. Opinions. Peace. Cardboard boxes. Keep it simple and speak softly. Tell what you want, tell. If you are rejected, keep walking. You are not alone, but you might be the only one heard. Tie up your shoes. Chocolate is Brown.

the s (:

My feet are cold. Let's take medicine. The table just vibrated. Cookie dough please. Table vibrating, feet colding, cookie doughing medicine. Sure, moron. Forget new year's resolutions. My throat has been shrinking, give me yogurt. Write a song about giving me yogurt. On a horse. A white one. Don't drink the coffee, or kool-aid that is of certain violet coloration. However, violent coloration may be perfectly acceptable. Maybe. Ask Simon. Please appreciate your hands. They type, they write, they hold, the hit, they grasp, they push, they pull, they give, they take, they harm, they mend, they comfort, they abuse, they discourage, they love, they fix, they destroy, they tear down, they build. Such complexities that we ignore. Use them wisely, please dear. Edward has scissors. Turn on the light. Leave it on. Hiding nothing, ever. Let that change your world. Make a world of your own. Forget criticism. Imagine like a child. Create like a child. Stop caring so much, like a child. Stop thinking about children. Tarantula.